- Every morning, write down three or more things you are grateful for.
By doing this you are raising your vibrational energy with the universe and with yourself. You are showing appreciation for the small and big things that you have or may not have yet and being thankful for the abundance of positivity that comes your way. You may begin to realise how blessed and how rich in health and wealth you are and your faith in humanity may be restored. A good example of this is one that happened to me the other day on my way to work. I went to purchase a coffee from Costa and only realised I didn’t have enough money to buy it after the lady had made my coffee. She then told me to take it and bring the money when I could. This may sound small to some people but it was big enough for me as she could have taken the coffee back and called the next customer which would have left me feeling embarrassed and groggy and irritable from not having any caffeine.
Which leads me to my next tip:
- Expect nothing, appreciate everything.
When we set high expectations we only make room for disappointment and let’s face it, we’ve all been disappointed or been the one having to disappoint someone. When we expect nothing from anyone it allows us to truly appreciate it when something good happens or when someone sticks to their promise. It has also enabled me to become a more resilient and self-reliant person.
- Do something that allows you to surround yourself with like-minded individuals who share your interests and/or hobby. If you don’t yet have a hobby or are unsure of what you enjoy doing then that’s even more fun! Why? Because you get to choose something you’ve never done before with people you have never met. You may surprise yourself and discover a new talent in something or might form positive bonds with new people!
- Volunteering for a company/charity of your choice to either learn new skills, give back to the community or just to get out of your usual routine.
- Attending a creative class or workshop i.e. dance, painting, knitting, fitness, cookery, …The options are endless!!!
- Going to social events
- Learning a news skills/craft or developing one you enjoy doing; mine is baking which is ironic because I had no cares in the world for baking cakes because they always tasted like soap! Now I find baking very therapeutic and everyone loves my cakes!
This helps you to get out of your usual routine of staying indoors or in your comfort zone and allows you to expand your wings, meet new people, find what you enjoy doing and raise your oxytocin levels A.K.A the happy hormone! It also gives you something to look forward to each week or month.
- Stay in touch with people who take the time to contact you or support you.
I have wasted my time and energy in trying to be in touch with those who never or hardly take the time out to contact me and have ignored those who have taken their time to see how I am or to meet up. All this does is send the wrong message to those who genuinely care for me. It was only after many years that I began to realise that all I was doing was chasing those who didn’t want to be chased and ignoring those who were chasing me.
- Let your yes be your yes and your no be your no!
Wise words I learned from my father-in-law. This creates healthy boundaries between you and others and lessens any confusion with what you really want for yourself and from others. Too many times I would say no to something and then feel bad and end up giving in by saying yes but this wasn’t and is not a healthy way to form healthy boundaries and sends a message that I am always available. Let’s keep it real now guys, who really is available all the time? I know I’m not! In between raising two children, studying, working, blogging I can just about find the time for my own self-care so it’s only right I set realistic expectations with others rather than burn myself out, soak in too many energies and forget about my own needs. This left me drained with little to no energy to look after myself.
- Listen to audiobooks and podcasts
Whilst I do have a deep love for reading books I can physically hold in my hand, I also do enjoy listening to audiobooks. Find audiobooks and/or podcasts that you find most inspiring and motivating by people who deliver their message in a very witty way with a dash of humour so the message doesn’t seem so mundane, boring, forced or like homework. For me, listening to these books or podcasts helps it to feel as though someone is directly speaking to me and if you ever see me and pushes me to develop myself daily. If you ever see me with headphones on, laughing to myself or smiling from ear to ear then you know I’m listening to an audiobook or podcast. My favourite audiobooks are by Jen Sincero; titles include “You Are a Badass” and “You Are a Badass at Making Money”. My favourite podcasts are called “The Receipts” on Soundcloud by a group of 4 bold, funny and feisty young women who share experiences and dilemmas on topics we all face or can relate to. If you have any recommendations feel free to leave a comment below! I’m always on the hunt for good audiobooks, books and podcasts.
- Live in the now
This message hit home for me after reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. Too many times we get caught up and stressed over things beyond our control which can evoke feelings of anxiety. If there is absolutely nothing you can do in this moment in time about your current situation and to make things better then there is no use stressing over and becoming anxious about it. Be mindful and focus on what’s around you, the feelings you’re experiencing at that moment. Absorb your environment and try to be grounded. One good advice I was given by a close friend was to imagine there are roots growing out of my feet into the ground, causing me to be firmly planted. This helps to alleviate anxiety and helps you to become more present and a bit more focused on the task at hand or the situation and to take in the beauty of what’s around you.
- Not every day is going to be a good day and that’s ok.
Some of the greatest pioneers, leaders, spiritual gurus, inventors and anyone that truly inspires us have had bad days just like you and me. From these bad days, we become more resilient and learn a lot about ourselves and how we cope with stress. You are human, you have emotions that vary with time, events, environmental factors, biological factors etc. Try not to be so hard on yourself for having days where you just do not want to be an adult! The more I resist and beat myself up for having low days the worse it makes me and the longer it takes for me to see the beauty in what’s in front of me. I am more accepting of everything that makes me who I am today, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Which leads me to me to…
- Keep a journal.
Keep a journal/diary beside your bed or in your daily handbag or backpack where you jot down your thoughts and feelings. There are no rules on how to format what you write and it doesn’t have to be long. Write down your feelings, your thoughts or what you’ve done for the day what you’d like to achieve. It’s a good form of release and there is no right or wrong way to keep track, whether it’s writing in it once a day, in the morning, in the evening, 5 times a day or every time you have a thought it’s totally up to you! I find that reflective writing helps me to notice any patterns in my behaviour and it’s also a good way to release any thoughts and emotions I may not be able to otherwise share or properly articulate with others.
- Keep lists or memorabilia of your achievements.
Write down your achievements whether big or small. This helps you to keep track of how amazing you are. If you are anything like me who tends to downplay my achievements or forget half the amazing and inspiring things I have done in my life thus far, you may end up with little to no reminders of how awesome you really are and find that it’s a struggle to proudly say what your strengths are or focus on the less inspiring aspects of your life. It can be a challenge to do so if you struggle to see your worth in life and how valuable you are to anyone. This is something I’ve had to work on and still do and can finally see that I am enough and I have every right to become the best version of myself just like you!
- Make time to treat yourself!
Because you deserve it. End of.
Last but not finally least….
- BE YOURSELF!
Be consistently you and anyone who loves your energy and wants to be a part of your life will jump on board. This is probably the hardest to do because we are in a world that bombards us with fashion trends, body image pictures and stigma attachments to things which do not fit the norm but guess what, there is only 1 YOU and ME and that’s what the world really needs; less clones and more originals. We all have a story to tell so go out there and be YOUnique.