10:18am and I just woke up. I got woken up by an important phone call but to be honest I needed to wake up. Usually, when I wake up, my first action is to search for my phone, switch on my internet data/WIFI, wait for any incoming messages and notifications then scroll through snapchat, Facebook and Instagram aimlessly… This is usually followed by dragging myself out of bed and attending to my boy’s, or getting ready for work – phone still in my hand as if it’s an extension of my arm – I know, quite sad right?
Last night, after noticing I had wasted time I wouldn’t get back scrolling and scrolling through my Facebook and I.G feeds and seeing people I know and others I don’t do something inspiring, it hit me for the thousandth time but this time that voice overtook my self-sabotage voice. All that time I wasted watching what others were doing, I could have done something productive, creative or a simple a self-care session before bed!
So, me and my impulsive self, decided to log out of Instagram, deactivate my Facebook account and remove both applications from my phone so there’s no temptation to “just check what everyone’s up to then log out again”.
The old me would have been extreme and completely deleted all my accounts/profiles to run away from myself and from others. Instead of explaining that I was battling with depression and would no longer be accessible via social media I would just pull the plug and become a social recluse; talk about cutting off my nose to spite my face! *SIGH* After doing this a few times I noticed I would lose the connections I once had with people because they would read by disappearance as lack of interest in them and to be honest, I don’t blame them! One day, I went as far as to delete my WhatsApp leaving people with unanswered messages for weeks!
In the past, deleting my social media was generally for the wrong reasons and, in hindsight, my priorities were in the wrong places. My reasons for having a social media detox now is simply to live in the moment and gain clarity about my own path and purpose in life. Doing this will enable me to really appreciate what’s around me and focus on myself more rather than get caught up in other people’s trials and tribulations whilst feeling shit because I’m comparing my path to theirs.
I will be going back to taking pictures via my camera and/or phone camera and not via snapchat. Many of us get so caught up trying to let others know we” have a life”, it’s as if we don’t exist if we aren’t posting left right and centre.
I’m not going to lie to myself and say I will not be returning to social media but for the next 30 days or so I will develop a healthy habit and routine whilst working on and loving myself better.
So, with that being said, the time is now 11:11am (my magic number) and that’s my queue to tell you all that I love you and appreciate your support and comments thus far.
Love and light to you all! x x x